the need to be strong.

Today I went to AH after almost 5 weeks of being MIA. To tell the truth, I wasn’t looking forward to going at all, the last time I went I had managed to convince myself that the people there had more than enough on their hands than to find work for a volunteer, and that since they worked on the basis that they wouldn’t get anyone, I wouldn’t be of any help anyway.

But I think God had something to teach me from this all.

My second task was to feed this little old lady her breakfast. That seemed easy enough, and I’d done it many times before. The tricky bit here was that she couldn’t sit up by herself. Usually I’d have nurses help me to carry her up to a sitting position, but this time I was alone. She was sleeping on the bed, her face like a prune, wrinkled and lined. Her head was too low on the bed for her to be able to sit up and swallow comfortably, no matter how high I raised the headrest. So I had to lift her up. I tucked my arms under hers, and tried to pull her up with my strength. I couldn’t. I tried to push her, I couldn’t either. The old lady looked at me blankly as I looked at her helplessly. Finally, I think, understanding that I was physically unable to support her, she slowly turned onto her side, pushed her feet into a hole in the bed support and pushed herself, painfully, higher on the bed. I tried to help her by pulling her, but I really did nothing. It was a good 5 minutes of her slowly maneuvering, pushing and pulling with the strength left in her small bones and frame, before she sat up, ready for breakfast.

As I fed her, I was struck with the realization that we all need to be strong. Fitness to me was always a matter of vanity, a self-serving way of looking good and feeling good. Of ensuring that I would not suffer too much in my future job. But today, I think I found another reason to be strong, another reason to push my body to its physical limits -We need to be strong for others.

We need to be strong, not just physically, but in every aspect of our lives. We need to all each, individually, reach the potential that God has given us, we need to struggle and push and toil till we reach its peak, and then never to be contented but push the boundaries. This is not for us, not for us to look and feel good about our successes, but because there are people who need us to be that way. There are the weak who need our strength, the poor who need our wealth, the ignorant who need our teaching, the lonely who need our love.

The more we wallow in self-pity, the more we allow laziness and procrastination to get a hold of our life, the more we invest in useless and ultimately meaningless activities, the less we develop of our abilities to be good, to be kind, to be strong – values that can, and will change the world, one person at a time. Our talents were given us not for our own good, but to fix the flaws and the brokenness that is in the world.

Today, at AH, I was starkly reminded of the frailty, weakness, and humanity of life. I fed that little old lady her medicine while she was eating. Though she could not speak, her face contorted when she tasted the bitterness of the ground up pills, but still she swallowed every bit. And I was reminded that though I am the one who is strong today, perhaps I might be weak tomorrow. And therefore I cannot rely on my own strength, or the fact that I will have many more tomorrows to live and make a difference. I must be as strong as I can now, I must do all I can now, because who knows what tomorrow will bring. And the next time I have to help someone, I want to be ready to help her to the best of my abilities, I want to be able to help someone whether physically, emotionally or mentally. Therefore, I need to be strong.

And that starts from today.

I wish to preach, not the doctrine of ignoble ease,

But the doctrine of the strenuous life,

The life of toil and effort, of labour and strife;

To preach that the highest form of success comes,

Not to the man who desires mere easy peace,

But to the man who does not shrink from danger, from hardship, or from bitter toil,

And who out of these wins the splendid ultimate triumph.

-Theodore Roosevelt, the Strenuous Life

i’ve always been bad at this.

so here i am, sitting in Seattle-Tacoma Airport, 5 hours away from UBC, and i think, never to go back again. i spent the whole night packing – well half of it.. till midnight my friends were over for an ice cream party, and before that i met 2 of the kindest people i know for dinner.

so from 12mn-6am i was just packing and trying to fit everything into my suitcase – my vacuum bag doesn’t work very well, and i think i have way too many books. in the end i had to hand carry my huge duffel bag and my laptop bag – the bag was still overweight, but thank God the counter staff let me through.

usually when i travel there is a sense of excitement (although usually laced with tiredness), but today, there is an air of pensiveness. i feel like i haven’t seen enough of UBC, or done enough. i don’t want to go, and i don’t want to say goodbye. 4 months has just flown by.

as i was packing, part of me was so reluctant to transfer everything from my drawers into my suicase, cos it would mean that the experience was over – it seemed like just yesterday when i waved goodbye to people at Changi Airport, and stepped into the world of snow in North America. and now it’s spring, it’s amazingly beautiful everywhere with the flowers and clear skies, and it’s time for me to leave.

but perhaps that is the paradox of life. if there were no end, then the beginning would be meaningless. if we are not sad at our parting, then perhaps us meeting was never anything to be happy about in the first place. perhaps, it is only through sadness that we grasp the meaning and the value of joy.

but at this moment, the sadness almost completely overwhelms me as i type this at the airport, with free wireless (actually bought by my mocha and muffin) – i suppose this must mean that my experience in UBC was amazing in every sense of the word.

what did i learn in UBC?

laundry, to cook, to drink coffee, to cook an omelette, to survive on boiled vegetables, to speak up in class when i felt like my opinion would make a difference. to travel alone, to be independent, to deal with my feelings, to tolerate, to be patient, to bite your tongue when you feel like gossiping. to pray, to feel God around, to understand his magnificence in nature. to make new friends, across continents and cultures, to not be afraid to ask for help, to smile at strangers, to take things in my stride. about the Canucks, ice hockey, winter sports, to snowboard and ski. to be comfortable being alone, yet be able to be a friend when required. to rely on prayer when you are too far away to make a difference, to learn that friendships transcend distance and time differences. how it is like to fall in love with the same person over and over again, how to deal with the flaws and weaknesses of another, and your own. to trust in others to make the right decisions, to not micromanage. to find out information on your own, to manage money, to help other people out. to be generous, to be kind, to be hospitable. to appreciate the value of old friendships, yet realising that in new friendships lie the potential of beautiful memories shared together. to appreciate family, friends, home. to understand that sometimes life must be lived to the fullest, wherever you are – and that some opportunities come only once. to be grateful and thankful for everything that i’ve been given, to appreciate God in all His goodness, kindness and mercy.

yet one thing i haven’t learnt, is to say goodbye.

today as i finally zipped my suitcase, cleared my room, threw away leftover food and finished my milk, i looked around the room i had lived in for the past 4 months. it looked exactly the same as when i first came, yet it was for me, completely different. when i first came, there was apprehension and unfamiliarity at the grey walls and the dull colours. now, there is a comfort, and a longing to stay. i looked out at the view of my window for one last time, and tears sting my eyes. but instead of saying and thinking sad things about how i’ll miss this place, and how i’ll probably never see the people i’ve met here again – i chose to be thankful. my final words as i drew the curtains was to thank God for this opportunity that i’d been given to do an exchange at UBC – it was an experience that far surpassed my every expectation, it was an experience that changed me to be a better person.

so maybe this is how we learn to say goodbye. that in the midst of the sadness and the hugs and the i’ll-miss-yous, there must be thankfulness. though things will never be the same, and these experiences only come by once, we have to be thankful, for the chance we’ve been given, the people we’ve made, and the person it has made us become.

maybe that’s how we say goodbye – and maybe that’s how i’ll learn to move on and let go. i’ll miss this place so much, but i’ll hold the memories and lessons close to my heart and continue to improve on the person it has made me become – i suppose this is the best sort of goodbye you can give. a sadness at parting that shows the joy you had together, a thankfulness that this experience happened, and a promise that the memories will live on beyond the physical confines of the place you shared – living in the heart, the mind, and the soul.

🙂

the time has come.

one of my roommates packed up and left today. we weren’t particularly close, but she was one of the 5 who i could look forward to smiling at or talking to after a long day at school, or after i had come back from one of my trips elsewhere. we never knew each other very well, but she was my roommate, part of the apartment that we lived in.

and i look at her empty room and it’s palpably empty. obviously empty. and a heaviness hangs over this apartment, we all know it’s the end – for some of us  it’s the end of our university education, for some it’s the end of an exchange experience, and some the end of an academic year.

but for all of us it’s the end of living together, the end of the 6 of us making up the people in this particular apartment, the sharing, the familiarity, the place we all came to call home.. for 4 months at least.

time has just flown. and i am really not ready to say goodbye.

rose-tinted.

i have been told that i have a very idealistic way of looking at the world – that the world is good, kind, and that good will be repaid with good, and that evil will one day be defeated by good.

i beg to differ – i don’t have a very idealistic way of looking at the world. on the contrary, i actually am a very suspicious and distrustful person. what i do instead is choose to have that view of the world, the rose-tinted glasses are not there and i’m unaware, rather i choose to place them there.

that has come out very obviously here i think, in the endless debates i’ve had with my friends around me, with the exclamations i make at the things around me, and the way i react to people, things and places.

having an idealistic worldview makes it easier to live, thinking that people are sincere and good allows me to relate to them on a real level, and i don’t have to be concious about putting up a front, or being on my guard against them. thinking that good trumps evil spurs me on to be a better person and to do good, in the face of the horror and sadness of the evil that exists in this world. believing that good will be repaid by good eventually helps me to get through the days of disappointment, betrayal and frustration by believing that one day the sun will come shining through.

it’s not an easy way to live, but i wouldn’t have been able to live any other way and be who i am today. you see, believing in good and its power over people and evil translates into a kind of hope. the hope that keeps you going in the darkest of nights because there is good in this world, just that you haven’t found it yet. the hope that things will get better, that people will change, that you can change and make somethig good from troubles that come your way.

i also believe in good because God has been good to me, because He has blessed me so underservedly, because when He was on earth, He was the epitome of good in the face of unspeakable evil and betrayal, yet the shining example of how greatest good can come from the most evil of evil – sacrifice in the form of crucifixtion, love’s triumph over sin.

i think Jesus’ life teaches us about being good – it’s not just about being good and doing things that will make people impressed – the acquiring of knowledge and the doing of good deeds. being good is giving till it hurts, it’s having compassion and empathy on the forgotten and the outcast, it’s about the willingness to lay down your life in obedience and in love.

i remember once during Juris, tsh asked whether LP or NLT would lead to a better vision of the law – what would be the consequences of following either theory of the law – what vision of society would you like, what kind of law do you want yours to be?

many times we look at our circumstances and shake our heads thinking that things will never change, that they will never get better and the world will always be one big screwed up place. but i’ve found, and i’ve realised that the first step to changing the world begins with changing yourself – the way you look at the world, the way you treat the world, the way you take it on.

one of my friends asked me once  ‘what if God did not exist? what would we be doing all this for, what if there was no afterlife to live, no God to judge us, and we just became dust when we die, with no one to remember us? won’t life be meaningless?’ and unconvinced of the existence of God, my friend asserted that life was meaningless, ‘we live, and then we die, there is no point.’ but it struck me then and there, and tsh’s words swam back up into my mind (as they usually do at such metaphysical questions), what kind of life do you want to live? Which would be better, believing that your life here is meaningless and pointless, or believing that the life you live will make a difference for now and for eternity? a meaningless and pointless life goes from day to day without aim, doing what you have to, and nothing more. a life that looks forward to something greater than itself, that understands that actions will have lasting consequences strives to better itself, to gain experiences that will enrich itself, and this translates into the way these two lives are lived and the interactions these lives will have with the people around them.

from then on, i chose to see the world as good. not that i blind myself to evil – in fact, evil and horror sadden me immensely. but i choose to believe that evil is not the be all and end all in this world, people are not all evil and selfish, and that good can and will triumph over evil eventually. we live in a fallen world, but yet we live in hope of a triumphant return of our Lord. why do we now still live without hope? without the understanding of the purpose of our creation? without the desire nor the discipline to do good?

hence i choose to be an idealist – because this is the only way i can live with hope. to have hope i must believe in good, that in everything that happens, good will come out of it, that God will shine through it all. and because i believe when God called down the flood to destroy the whole earth, he didn’t destroy Noah, because i believe He saw something in Noah and his descendants. He sent His son to die for us in love, because He saw us in all our unholy filth and sin worthy of the highest expression of His love for us.

and if God can see such good in people and the world He created to lay down His life and exact the ultimate sacrifice, then i want to be able to do that too. not live with blinkers around my eyes to only see the good things, but to look at the world for all it is, but know and believe that good exists despite of it.

because we have been loved in such a great and immeasurable way, there is no other response but to love the One and His creation the best we can.

People are often unreasonable, illogical and selfish,
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of having selfish, ulterior motives,
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies,
Be successful anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you,
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight,
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, people may be jealous,
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow,
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough,
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it’s between you and God,
It was never between you and them anyway.

what a pleasant surprise.

i was doing my paper, and then i saw this:

To you, he is a criminal. To us, he is a human being. A person who did wrong but is fully capable of changing for the better. Here at the Si.ngapore Pris.on Service, we are firmly committed not just to being custodians of our inmates but also to help them back on their feet. We believe that they too can become productive members of society.

-Singapore P.rison S.ervices Website, Rehab.Renew.Restart

stories and cliches aside, i’m happy to be going to work for an organization that publicly declares that they believe in this. 🙂

yes i am.

you’re gonna miss this
you’re gonna want this back
you’re gonna wish these days
hadn’t gone by so fast.

these are some good times
so take a good look around
you may not know it now
but you’re gonna miss this.

that time of the year.

so the exams and deadlines for research papers are looming in the horizon. most of my days are spent cooped up in my room, trying my very best to translate my thoughts into coherent sentences on my computer screen. it hasn’t been going too well the past few days – but my friend just told me that the best cure for writer’s block is to just keep writing. so i will adopt that as my motto!

my roommates in my apartment are really nice, and sometimes quite amusing. the thing about 6 girls from 3 different countries living together is that there are things that will bind you (like being a woman) and things that are starkly different (Asia v. West) – but thank God it’s been wonderful staying with them. there’s just the right amount of space, with the opportunity to share joy and sorrow – not to the deepest levels, not for me at least. but it has been a good place to have company, and it’s comforting to know that you’re never really alone in this foreign house.

but there are some amusing things about 6 girls living in 1 apartment who all have exams and deadlines in a few weeks:

1. girls are concerned about getting fat, but girls also like to snack. so it’s interesting when people like us snack on celery sticks, microwave popcorn, dark chocolate, carrots, walnuts (natural caffeine) and the occasional whole-grain crackers.

2. girls are concerned about getting fat, but girls also have to eat. my roommates and i barely eat rice or noodles, it’s mostly just vegetables, fruits and canned tuna/salmon. if you look into our garbage, it’s mostly just compost (organic waste), or packaging from crackers, tuna/salmon, jugs of milk.

3. everything in the kitchen and cupboard is either natural (vegetables) or low-fat, low-sodium, or healthier choice. none of us drink more than 1% milk. the only oil we ever use is olive oil, or margarine. there is no smell of grease, anywhere.

4.  girls use a lot of toilet paper – i have no idea why or how. we can go through 30 rolls in 1 and a half weeks – madness.

5. girls do strange things when they are stressed – when deadlines and tests loom, suddenly the kitchen is sparkling clean, or rooms are amazingly neat, or all the laundry gets done. anything to get away from the books and to feel like you’re doing something.

6. there are a lot of tea bags in the garbage – the amount of tea we drink to keep awake, soothe ourselves or just to take the place of a snack is quite amazing.

7. there is a lot of whining about putting on weight with the expected ‘no you’re not!’ and ‘yeah i know what you mean!'(s)

8. there is a LOT of procrastination – tv, walking to each other’s rooms, cooking, doing groceries, snacking, the list never ever ends.

9. ‘i’m bored!’, ‘i don’t want to do this anymore!’ in high-pitched i-don’t-want-to-do-this-anymore voices ring in the house quite often, i guess we’re all little daddy’s girls at heart!

10. the apartment smells nice, and is neat. more so when exams are drawing near. during exams, my roommates also dress nicely, even at home – just to procrastinate. i just walk around in my pyjamas the whole day.

11. someone’s always cooking – to procrastinate or because they’re hungry.

12. ‘good luck’, ‘goodnight’, ‘keep going’, ‘study hard’ are common refrains around this house.

13. we discuss grocery shopping, which produce store is the cheapest, where you can get good vegetables, and what specials are on in the store. the word ‘aunty’ is not limited to Asians.

14. a lot of sharing of food goes on here – because girls like to eat and ‘share fats’, and because it gives you an excuse to talk and not have to do work.

15. dishes are always done, the place is mostly clean. and people buy toilet paper to replenish.

i love living here, if you couldn’t already tell 🙂

and i have to get back to work.

were you there when they crucified my Lord?

it’s Good Friday today. remembering Good Friday (celebrating just seems a bit strange a word) by going to church alone was a new experience, but it also allowed me to reflect – instead of having to deal with the flurry of the running of cell group and service.

someone’s msn nick read ‘what’s so good about good friday?’ and that started me thinking throughout the services that i went for today. indeed, as i listened to and read the scripture, i was wondering at how anyone could have ever called it good friday. what could have been good about the perversion of justice, the lack of evidence, the complete betrayal of the people He loved, the flogging, the mocking, the nails, the blood, the physical pain of the excruciating crucifixtion – pain that was only eclipsed by the emotional and spiritual loneliness from the full measure of God’s wrath upon Him. what could be good about good friday?

but i think that’s exactly what is good about good friday – it was by His stripes that we are healed, by the flogging and the shedding of blood that salvation came to us all. the ugliness of Man and the inherent sinful nature meant that there was no other way than a sacrifice, a vessel for God’s wrath to be accomplished. no one could have understood what good could have come out of that day, but God – when the temple curtain was torn in two.

i think it is in good friday that the true essence of Christian faith is exemplified. true, easter is the day of victory, of resurrection, of life abundant and forevermore. but good friday, with its sadness, injustice and pain displays God’s love for us and Jesus as a role model for obedience and sacrifice. it is easy in the joy of Easter to celebrate salvation, the new covenant and the promise of everlasting life – but we must remember that this covenant was not easily gotten – it was brought through sorrow and pain.

good friday reminds us of the beauty of self-sacrifice and obedience – the ability to lay down our lives, to obey regardless, and to trust that God has a plan through it all. as i knelt before and touched the wood of the cross, something overwhelmed me – the imagery of the flogging, the mocking, the heaviness of the cross, the blood that must have streamed from His body, the sorrow that must have weighed on his heart. yet from this came two words – love and sacrifice.

and i was truly humbled. it was a love that none of us ever deserved, it was a sacrifice that even the best of us would not have been able to make. and at that moment, i felt so small. too many times we pride ourselves on the people we become, the things we’ve done, the kindness we’ve shown. but in the light of the ultimate sacrifice, the ultimate expression of love, these things count for naught. His love will be something that i can never fully grasp, His sacrifice will be something that i can never fully understand.

the true measure of love is in self-sacrifice, the true measure of sacrifice is in the obedience and love that motivates it. Jesus exemplified this – laying down not only His physical body, but taking on the sins of the world.

during this good friday, and for the rest of them to come, i want to always remember that the grace and salvation in which i stand in came at a price, a price that i would never have been able to pay. and from this knowledge may there come humility at the true value of my works in light of the cross, and gratitude at the amazing sacrifice that saved you and me. and above all, a wondrous, amazed love that comes from the contemplation of the cross, that will flow to the people and the places through me, for His glory.

When i survey the wondrous Cross,
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain i count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it Lord, that i should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God
All the vain things that charm me most
i sacrifice them to His blood

See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet?
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

–When I survey the Wondrous Cross, Isaac Watts

my brother’s keeper.

my friend turned to me yesterday while we were on the bus and asked me a question, ‘who’s going to take care of your brother in the future?’ this is the same friend that believes in the economic utility of human beings, that the value of a person is determined by his economic viability.

i said, ‘well, i am – or at least i’ll get someone to.’ and he looked at me with this mix of (and i could very well be wrong) with empathy, pity, or something. and he said ‘well then you and s cannot enjoy er ren shi jie.’ then i looked him in the eye and said, ‘well, some sacrifices have to be made.’ and he said ‘well, i guess if he was my family, i would have no choice as well. ‘

that bothered me, very very much. i love my brother, and i am fiercely protective and loyal of him. my back gets up when anyone insults him or thinks him any less of a human being. i don’t care what you think about how people should be like to be of value, but my brother is a person, like you and me. God chose to make him different, and different he was. when i was young i used to wonder why he was like that, used to get embarrassed when he threw tantrums in public, used to not really want to talk about him.

but as i grew up, i realised how much my brother has taught me. he’s taught me humility, kindness and compassion. he’s taught me how words are not required to convey love – all that’s required is a tone of voice, a touch, a smile. he’s made me a better person. sure, he may never be able to contribute to society in any economic way, he may never be able to work and earn a living to support himself. so some people think that these sort of people should be put in an institution, to decrease the strain they have on their resources. but i’m very disturbed by such a vision of society. at this moment, perhaps the disabled are at the very bottom of the economic viability chain – if you think that society should not have to accommodate these people, if you begin to see these people as a liability to the state, then what kind of society are you building? a society where the powerful and the intelligent work only for their own gain, where people who fall behind just get, well, left behind. so perhaps the disabled are the first to go, then maybe the elderly, how about the people who are not as intelligent – slowly but surely, your society loses its soul.

here, the buses have a ‘kneeling’ function, where the public buses are able to lower the front of the bus where the door is, so that elderly with wheelchairs and walking sticks, pregnant women and baby prams can go up the bus with ease, without having to negotiate the gap between the sidewalk and the bus entrance. when i first saw it, i was amazed. this society has learned the meaning of unity and equality. in accommodating the disabled, they recognized the differences, yet understand that these people should be entitled to enjoy what they can enjoy. it’s not just about equality of opportunity in the formal sense, it’s not about meritocracy in that the people who can do it do it, and the people who can’t just live with the fact that they can’t. it’s about accommodation, about substantive equality – understanding the differences and then doing what you can to ensure a level playing ground. the disabled here travel around with confidence – in the parks, on the streets, in the buses. they know that even though they are different, society understands, society helps, society includes.

these people are people – and if society must begin to see these people as people who are able to teach them something. it may not be physics, science, chemistry or law, it may not have any economic value in the long run – but how about the intangibles like compassion, like empathy, like kindness?

as much as i have taken care of my brother, he has taught me so much. he’s brought my family closer together, the times when we used to discuss his schooling, when we prayed together for him. he’s taught me most of all, that regardless of what a person looks like, how he behaves, and what he does, his existence is of value. and it is when society realises that there is value to a person regardless of who he is and what you can do, that people can accord dignity and respect that each person is inherently entitled to, that this is a society with soul. efficiency and effectiveness should not be the only goals in society, it is so important that we teach the generations after us that life is not just about what you can do, but who you are, life is not just about your achievements, but about your ability to look around and empathise with the people who are different. in the age of capitalism and the free market, we need to know that the inherent worth of a person is not contingent on what he can do or what he can contribute – much is expected from those who have been given much, but everyone has been given something to contribute to the people around them.

i believe that i am a better person because of my brother. i believe that God had a purpose when He put him in my family, a purpose that will only be fully clear in the light of eternity.

but when i think about the future, the bitterness has been replaced by fear – fear that i will not be able to financially, physically or emotionally cope with taking care of him. but i will try, and i will not give up. and even as i begin to prepare for the future with him in mind, i know that there will be sacrifices. and i pray that one day the society that i live in will come to understand and affirm the worth of these individuals to its fullest extent – that they can learn to develop and grow, and society will learn not only to recognize the material contributions  of the people who can and do contribute economically, but also understand and include those who are different.

he ain’t heavy, he’s my brother. 🙂

dancing through life.

it struck me last night how life isn’t fair.

there are some people who seem to be born with everything – money, good looks, connections – people who seem to be born to succeed. and then the people who are born with some things , but they have to work so much harder than the people who are born with everything. and then there comes the people who are born with nothing, and so on.

i realised that yesterday, and it made me bitter – it left a very unpleasant taste in my mouth as i heard someone i knew talking about it, and i had to quickly change the subject before i made my views known.

even though we say that hard work will bring you success, everyone has a potential that they can reach. depending on where, to whom, and when you were born, everyone starts off at different starting points in the race of life – some slightly ahead and some way behind.

but like someone else told me, that’s life. and people like us will just have to work harder. i’d like to think that God is fair.. that maybe if i work harder i will learn more about life, or i will be happier, or something like that. but i’ve since learnt that that’s a case of sour grapes, if i can’t have what i want, then what i can have will be something way better. but no, people with more are usually perfectly happy where they are.

i think what we must learn is to be content. to know your time and place in this life, and to do your best. to realise and be grateful for what God has given you, and to not be bitter about what He hasn’t. to be able to be truly happy for someone who has more than you, to not judge, to not condemn, and to not expect everyone to think or behave in the same way as you. to see the best in everyone, and to learn to be the best you can. and in all these things, to learn that God has a plan for you.

basically, to bloom where you’re planted – to be the best you can be, and to make the Gardener proud 🙂

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

Phil 4:11-12